I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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