I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do vagina's smell?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
