i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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