don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
