I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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