I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
