She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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