It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
well you can't waste a boner
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
