the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
