your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
