i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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