You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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