She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
