I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You are a genius and a whore.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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