i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
