it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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