i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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