So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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