I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we have pet lesbian snakes
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
