I just made out with a guy for $7.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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