she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The best revenge is premature balding
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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