Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
