She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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