You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
