This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
