I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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