hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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