yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
