there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
