Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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