I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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