You're completely useless in the revolution.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
