Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
