So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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