I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
