How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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