Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
No subtext here. People are naked.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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