Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
