Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
