dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
