Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize