my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You ate ashes out of my bong
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
