Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need to calm my uterus...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
