You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
