Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
