hotel room ftw
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
