I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
