We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
