O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
