I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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