I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
