You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
