i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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