on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
