A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
