You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
