Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
