You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
